I met Jimmy Escalante, who would become my boyfriend just a couple weeks later (I’ll probably be posting again on our one year, January 22nd).
I wasn’t looking, and the night that I met him, I was bummed because no one could go to this show in Corpus with me. I almost didn’t even go, and neither did he because he was heading back home to Austin the next morning. Well, I can’t even tell you how glad I am that we both went and met that night.
I also happened to be making a trip up to Austin that weekend, coincidentally enough, and to my surprise he sent me a text while I was driving up. We spent a lot of time together that weekend, and going back to Corpus to pack for my flight back across the country was actually heartbreaking.
That second semester of my freshman year, we became a couple and we talked all the time. In February, he sold his bike and video games among other little things so that he could come visit me in New York, which amazed me. I didn’t know that someone could want to do something so sweet and so big for me after such a short amount of time.
After almost a year of being together, he is still just as good to me. We have our little fights, misunderstandings, and communication errors, but it’s never enough to hurt our relationship.
I’ve changed so much in the past year, and I’ve come to realise things about myself that probably would’ve taken a lot longer and been much more difficult if Jimmy hadn’t been there. Next year I’m almost positive that I’ll be moving away from New York, to Austin. This isn’t because of Jimmy and our long distance, as hard as it is, that is something I can handle. Jimmy’s contribution to this big decision was only welcoming me here and letting me visit whenever I wanted, for as long as I could.
Staying in Austin for the few months that I have since last year has made me fall in love with it, and I miss the warmth of people here, and I miss being close to my friends that I’ve had for so long. New York is obviously a place with many opportunities and I know some good people there, but I can’t help but feel so alone in the midst of the crowds. I also have hid a major roadblock in deciding what I want to do with my life after school, and I can’t continue to spend ridiculous amounts of money on school in New York when it may not end up being the right path, and when it means that I may be unhappy for the next two years. Being a student in New York and being indecisive about my future there has also taken a very, very big toll on my health, and this shouldn’t happen at age 20. The big city will always be there for me if I want to make it my home again.
For now, I need to be closer to home, and I think that feeling love around me from the friends and family I have here will help me to feel stable, even if I’m still indecisive.
If it weren’t for Jimmy’s kindness toward me, I don’t know what I would be thinking or doing right now. I’ve always been self-motivated, but beneath that, there’s always been a powerful self-destructiveness in me as well. His understanding, even temper, and encouragement help to tame that dark component of my personality. I couldn’t be more grateful, for everything he’s done for me, in just a year’s time.
“If I know what love is, it is because of you.”
And I continue to discover its meaning every day that you’re in my life.
4 months ago 
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